Today is my sister's 40th birthday but I can't just call her up and wish her a good one. Almost nine years ago she decided to divorce herself from the family, cut all ties to everyone. Effectively she vanished without a trace. She sold her condo and moved away with her son, N. For many years I wondered if she was even alive but at my stepfather's memorial service (her dad's), someone said that Nikki was living in the midwest and may or may not be married and teaching there. If so then I'm happy for her. Perhaps she's found the life that she deserves to have. I just wish that once in a while she'd drop a postcard or note to say hello.
I'm left with memories: how we'd share a bedroom when we were growing up, then getting mad at each other and kicking the other out, making up again so that we could be roomies again .. egging her on to do a one-handed handstand since she was a gymnast and so good at it .. painting her face for halloween (and then painting a few of the neighborhood kids and one adult too) .. going shopping, talking about her baby-to-be when she was pregnant .. holding N when he was a little baby .. listening to him tell me and Steve how he loved the movie Fast and Furious (he was just four and such a cutie) .. sharing my wedding day with her as my maid of honor, how she made sure to blot my face when the photographer was taking all those pictures, how she tossed her bouquet when the photographer took a group shot and we all laughed like crazy (that's one of my favorite candids from the wedding!) .. yes, I'm left with my memories but I would have liked to create more than those ones.
Nikki and me at my wedding (she looks a lot like my mom and grandmother while I tend to favor my dad's side of the family.)
After Nikki tossed her bouquet during the pre-wedding pictures. Luckily the florist had an extra one. I just loved how much everyone laughed.
And the more "formal" pre-wedding kiss photo. Don't you just love the expression on Nikki's face?
If you're out there reading this, Alicia Nicole Scott, I hope that your 40th is a fantastic one! I hope that you're being treated like a queen and that all your wishes come true. I love you! Happy birthday Nikki!!
How sad that families split apart and let such distance grow between them. You've written a heartfelt post and I so hope she sees it.
Posted by: Mary Anne | January 26, 2012 at 02:49 PM
That is a wonderful picture of the two of you. I can feel how much you miss her.
Posted by: katie | January 26, 2012 at 06:51 PM
It is so sad that ties were cut between you both. She does seem a wonderful person and so very sorry you couldn't have her with you to create more wonderful memories. I do sincerely hope she reads this or somehow gets in touch with you. Life is too short to lose even a moment.
Posted by: Shashi | January 27, 2012 at 09:00 AM
You are a fantastic gal Tami! I'm sure Nikki thinks of you too. Never say never....
love you!
Sue
Posted by: Sue McFadden | February 03, 2012 at 11:44 AM
Tami, I was just doing my usual lurking, I know I know, I should leave a hello at least...So hello!!!
I really wanted to say how sad I was after reading about your sister ,you sound like a wonderful sister, everyone has their reason for what they do, but I think she is missing out so much for not being part of your family.
Blessings,Flora
Posted by: flora | February 03, 2012 at 07:14 PM
I am hoping that Nikki gets back in touch. How hard for all of you to lose out.
Posted by: Cheri | February 04, 2012 at 02:31 PM